My feelings about all that I have to do are perfectly summed up, as they so often are, by my darling nephew Jack. To his great delight, he found three pennies one day. He took great delight in counting them over and over again: "Twenty, plenty-nine, one hundred!" (On a side note, he was just being silly. He can totally count.) On one hand, I feel like the number of things I have to do are piling up faster than an rational person can count; I might as well skip 1-19 altogether, then make up some numbers, and then skip right to insurmountable. On the other hand, I'm vaguely and stupidly optimistic that I'll actually be able to accomplish everything in an improbably fast manner. I mean, sure, I have a lot to do, but in my mind I can get through it all in a hop, skip, and a jump. This thought process is how I'm able to justify putting off my entire to-do list.
Sadly, I'm not able to complete my work at the same speed at which a silly four-year-old can count. But what if I could? What if "Twenty, plenty-nine, one hundred" was a magic chant like "abracadabra?" Think of all the ways that could come in handy! For example:
-- "Wow, do you see how many people are standing in front of me in line? There's twenty, plenty-nine, one hundred!" BOOM! Front of the line!
--"I still have so many hours left on my shift! There are twenty, plenty-nine, one hundred hours left." BOOM! Time to clock out!
--"I wish that creepy guy was twenty, plenty-nine, one hundred miles away!" BOOM! Creeper gone!
There are, however, some topics that should be avoided. One ought never use the magic chant when discussing the number of days left of vacation, the number of tips received, or number of friends.
I'm going to try out this new little trick right now. Good luck to anyone who wants to try with me!