The Occasional Glutton

I love food.  I also really love my family which happens to be full of food lovers.  We have a tradition, which has become somewhat of a joke, that anytime one of us goes out for a meal, one of the first questions asked upon arrival home is "What did you eat?"  Some of my favorite memories come from family dinners together and "helping" my mom in the kitchen.  I am not a fan of cooking, but I love standing in the kitchen and talking to my mom while she cooks.  

As a big fan of food and family, I totally love holiday weekends.  I have my whole family together and tons of delicious food!  So naturally, while celebrating Independence Day, the subject of gluttony came up.  Kristen contends that a sign of gluttony is eating so much that one becomes physically ill.  I, however, believe that gluttony is eating so much that one becomes physically ill on a regular basis.  You're not a full-fledged glutton because you overeat on a holiday; you're just an occasional glutton.  Personally, I think The Occasional Glutton would be an excellent show for the Food Network.  It would be perfect for people like me who love to eat but hate to cook.  

Come to think of it, the show wouldn't have to be on the Food Network.  It could be more Intervention-style with each week devoted to someone who over-indulges in a particular vice.  Of course there would be episodes dedicated to food, but I can also see episodes revolving around Lifetime movie marathons, ABC Family teen dramas, chick lit, vampires, and whining.  If the show is a big enough success, there could even be an episode about someone who watches The Occasional Glutton for hours at a time!

Then again, I may just keep the title for my memoirs.  I think it's sadly fitting.

Jamie's Hero and Villain of the Week #2

Another Friday, another edition of Jamie's Hero and Villain of the Week!  This week's article features feats of heroic creativity and deeds of dastardly destruction!  Read on if you dare!

Hero of the Week:  ABC Family's marketing department

   This may seem like an odd choice, but you have to respect a group of people who can spin shows about sex, drug use, and murder into a "family drama."  I remember when family television consisted of shows like Boy Meets World and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  Now it's high-quality productions such as Pretty Little Liars (and yes, I totally watch the trashy show, so I'm not really being that judgmental.  But I'd never have been allowed to watch it as a kid.  I'm just saying.).  However, this week, the sheer genius of this marketing team came to the forefront earlier this week when I saw a promo for the show Greek (also never would have been allowed to watch that one as a kid).  In the midst of a bunch of hyperbolic and unverifiable statements ("The most hilarious college kids..." etc.), a celebratory quote flashed across the screen boasting that "Greek is #1!"  Why is this so brilliant, you may ask?  After all, this is a really common technique.  This particular commercial was so extraordinary because the quote came from a FACEBOOK USER!  That's right, no pesky critics or entertainment industry professionals here!  Just the one girl who admits to watching Greek on her Facebook page.  I admire the boldness of this move more than I can say.  I one day hope to launch a marketing campaign around the fact that my mom thinks my cards are really nifty.

Villain of the Week:  The tiny demon that lives inside all Adobe products

   It's true; there is a tiny demon (maybe I should call it a sprite?) that lives inside all Adobe products and makes my business life a living nightmare.  It uses it's tiny yellow little claws to destroy my hopes and dreams.  And, you know, make my pictures look grainy and stuff.  While www.picnik.com is really helpful in editing photos (thanks for the tip, Jessica!), Ashley has had a more difficult time finding a replacement for the Photoshop upgrade she purchased that isn't compatible with her current software.  Thanks for all of your lies, you Sprite of Deceit!  Thanks to bad information from Adobe and inexplicable software glitches, the super-awesome Valentine's we designed won't be posted in our shop until next week (fingers crossed!)  Shame on you, Adobe!  Shame.

I hope you enjoyed this week's installment.  Stay tuned to see who will make the list next week!