It Only Looks Like I've Given Up on Life

I'm not going to lie--the last couple of months have not been the best.  Various setbacks and business disappointments combined with the pressure of a new job have felt overwhelming at times.  I tried to take some time to rest and regroup last week, and the result was less than pretty.

I spent a large portion of my down time fast asleep, and the rest of the time looking like I just woke up.  One day, I ventured out to CVS frizzy-haired and make-up free.  I was there to buy extra-large bandages for the gaping flesh wound I received from a pair of rather fabulous platform stilettos, but I felt myself drawn to the "as seen on tv" aisle.  There, between the pain-free hair remover and the perfect pasta cooker, was a display of Pajamajeans.  In case you are unfamiliar with the product and/or are terrible at drawing logical conclusions, Pajamajeans are pants that feel like pajamas and are supposed to look like jeans.  I was first introduced to them by my friends merciless mockery of anyone that would deign to wear them.  And yet, a strange longing to wear the oft-maligned garment stirred inside me.  

An internal battle raged:  Am I really the kind of person who thinks that putting on a pair of jeans is too much effort when leaving the house?  Am I going to refuse to try something because my friends laugh at it?  Am I really going to pay $40 for glorified yoga pants?  Well, I have a coupon, so they won't be quite that much.  What should I do?!?  As I searched my soul for the answers to these questions, I surreptitiously circled the aisle.  Apparently, I was not as surreptitious as I would have liked because I started getting some odd looks from my fellow shoppers.

Finally, I made a decision.  To heck with my pride, I was buying the Pajamajeans!  I reached for a box and realized that my size was two boxes back.  As I tried to extract my target, several boxes from above started to tumble.  I tried to reach up to steady them, but my efforts were hampered by a shopping basket.  Then I tried to gently place the basket on the floor to free my hands, but I couldn't reach down without letting what amounted to the entire Pajamajeans display crumble around me.  I had to simply drop the basket, which made a rather dismal thunk! and ensured that everyone in the vicinity turned to watch my struggle.  Hurridly, I tried to wedge the box into my basket, and it nearly didn't fit.

I scurried up the checkout line with my head down, trying to cover my face with my frizzy hair.  Naturally, the line was longer than I'd ever seen it.  When it was finally my turn, the basket handles got stuck on the Pajamajeans box and it took me nearly 30 seconds to wrestle it free.  Then it was time to pay, and I thought my humiliation was nearly over.  Unfortunatley, I was wrong.  I handed the cashier a coupon for 25% off that I had printed from the in-store kiosk.  The cupon didn't have a barcode, so she had to call for a manager over the speaker.  Meanwhile, my Pajamajeans were standing proudly on the checkout counter, inviting all patrons behind me to see that not only was I buying fake jeans, but I was too cheap to pay full price.  When the manager finally arrived at the scene, she was also unable to appropriately apply the coupon.   I continued to stand there, ashamed, as the manager and her underling continued to fuss with the coupon and cash register for the next 10 minutes.  By the time they were done,  I was completely mortified.  At least I ended up with about 75% off my total!

When I finally got my Pajamajeans home, they were so comfy that I almost decided that they looked like regular jeans.  In fact, I went to the grocery store in them!  I'm sure it was probably just a delusion precipitated by extreme comfort.  My darling friend has assured me that, yes, they are ugly, and even tagged my "ugly pajamajeans" in a picture on Facebook.  However, despite all appearances, I have not totally given up on life.  I'm still trying to find a way to make my business work, and I may even wear a dress a put on make-up at some point in the future.

Jamie's Hero and Villain of the Week #2

Another Friday, another edition of Jamie's Hero and Villain of the Week!  This week's article features feats of heroic creativity and deeds of dastardly destruction!  Read on if you dare!

Hero of the Week:  ABC Family's marketing department

   This may seem like an odd choice, but you have to respect a group of people who can spin shows about sex, drug use, and murder into a "family drama."  I remember when family television consisted of shows like Boy Meets World and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  Now it's high-quality productions such as Pretty Little Liars (and yes, I totally watch the trashy show, so I'm not really being that judgmental.  But I'd never have been allowed to watch it as a kid.  I'm just saying.).  However, this week, the sheer genius of this marketing team came to the forefront earlier this week when I saw a promo for the show Greek (also never would have been allowed to watch that one as a kid).  In the midst of a bunch of hyperbolic and unverifiable statements ("The most hilarious college kids..." etc.), a celebratory quote flashed across the screen boasting that "Greek is #1!"  Why is this so brilliant, you may ask?  After all, this is a really common technique.  This particular commercial was so extraordinary because the quote came from a FACEBOOK USER!  That's right, no pesky critics or entertainment industry professionals here!  Just the one girl who admits to watching Greek on her Facebook page.  I admire the boldness of this move more than I can say.  I one day hope to launch a marketing campaign around the fact that my mom thinks my cards are really nifty.

Villain of the Week:  The tiny demon that lives inside all Adobe products

   It's true; there is a tiny demon (maybe I should call it a sprite?) that lives inside all Adobe products and makes my business life a living nightmare.  It uses it's tiny yellow little claws to destroy my hopes and dreams.  And, you know, make my pictures look grainy and stuff.  While www.picnik.com is really helpful in editing photos (thanks for the tip, Jessica!), Ashley has had a more difficult time finding a replacement for the Photoshop upgrade she purchased that isn't compatible with her current software.  Thanks for all of your lies, you Sprite of Deceit!  Thanks to bad information from Adobe and inexplicable software glitches, the super-awesome Valentine's we designed won't be posted in our shop until next week (fingers crossed!)  Shame on you, Adobe!  Shame.

I hope you enjoyed this week's installment.  Stay tuned to see who will make the list next week!