The Reel Game of Life

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if it were more like the Life board game?  I have.  It would take so much of the pressure off!  Everything is determined by chance, so you can't be held accountable for your actions.  There would be no worrying about finding a mate and building a meaningful relationship; at the appropriate time you'll simply be assigned someone who will fit perfectly in your plastic car and who won't talk back.  Not sure about kids?  Doesn't matter!  The appropriate number will be assigned to you, and they will all fit in your car.  This all sounds pretty good to me!  It would be nice to know that as long as I'm on the color-coded I will eventually get where I need to go.

As appealing as a "Life" life sounds to me, I have to wonder if it could be at all fulfilling.  I love the idea of avoiding blame for my failures (who knew greeting cards with killer dolls wouldn't be popular?), but there's no way I'm giving up the credit for my successes!  I like praise too much!  With this in mind, I'd like to make a suggestion for improvement to the "Life" model:  Every space should have at least 2 choices of how to proceed.  The game board would probably have to be designed by M.C. Escher, but it would add another layer of complexity and intrigue to the game which I think would make victory ultimately more satisfying.

On second thought, that might be too stressful.  How are the players supposed to make these decisions on every turn which could mean the difference between victory and defeat?  That's way too much pressure!  Some sort of guidelines need to be put in place to help inform all of these decisions to increase the chance of success.  Decisions should be based on the actions of people who always get what they want.  I am, of course, referring to fictional characters.  Every turn on the game board must be justified by the actions of a television or movie character.  Doesn't that sound like more fun?  Instead of a simple game of chance, Life becomes a mixture of classic board game, pop culture Trivial Pursuit, and those Choose Your Own Adventure books I read as a kid.  Much more fun, and way more Life-like!