An Epic Adventure

Nearly sixteen years ago, I had a true adventure.  The summer after fifth grade, my father was asked to go to a conference in Toronto.  We lived in Orlando at the time, and my sisters and I had never traveled farther north than Black Mountain, North Carolina.  My parents wanted to make sure we had an opportunity to see more of the country, so Daddy cashed in his plane ticket and we drove 1300 miles to Toronto.  

My personal adventure began before we even left town.  I went to the orthodontist and had braces put on my abominably crooked teeth the day that we left.  Anyone who has ever had braces knows that it is not a very pleasant experience.  I was doing okay when we first hit the road, but I was in tears by the time we stopped for dinner that night.  I remember vividly sitting in Burger King trying to eat a hamburger that Daddy had cut into little bitty pieces with a pocket knife.  Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to eat a hamburger the same day I got my braces.  But really, how much pudding can a person (even a kid) eat?  Thankfully, I was able to sleep quite a bit in the car, and we made it to Toronto in a couple of days.  

My sisters and I were in heaven when we arrived.  Not only did we have the opportunity to see a Great Lake, but (more important to children) we got to stay in an amazing hotel!  A child's definition of an amazing hotel:  There were fountains and Ping-Pong tables in the lobby.  While Daddy was busy at his conference, my mother, sisters and I explored the city.  We saw giant black squirrels in the park, marveled over the subway station in the mall, and walked on the glass floor of the CN Tower.  

The drive home took much longer than the drive to Toronto because we made several detours.  We visited many wonderful places--Niagara Falls, Lancaster County, PA, and Williamsburg, VA among them--but it was the things that happened on the road that stay with me.  

  --In Niagara Falls, we discovered long-lost brother Jeremy.  Okay, so he wasn't really a long-lost brother.  He was some boy who showed up at nearly every attraction we visited, and consequently, ended up in nearly every picture we took.  Of course, we had to give him a name and create a story to explain his presence.  Thus, brother Jeremy was born.  He fell out of the van on the way home.

  --Ashley's shoes mysteriously disappeared in a small town in Pennsylvania.  A logical explanation would be that she decided to change shoes while Daddy was packing up the van, and the shoes got overlooked.  A less logical (but perhaps more likely?) explanation is that a vengeful sprite spirited them away in retaliation for Ashley's overly-loud declaration that she "thought Pennsylvania was supposed to be ugly!!!" in the middle of the world's largest Perkins.

  --Kristen rubbed the bottom of a McDonald's soda cup until it ruptured, baptizing her in Coke in the middle of an Amish cemetery.  The best part of the story was the aftermath in which she yelled at the top of her lungs, "Stop the car now!  I said STOP!!! Why aren't you STOPPING?!?!?!?!?!"  Needless to say, my parents were not too thrilled that their sweet soda-drenched daughter adopted the role of backseat driver.  

  --I discovered the depth of my sports-related ineptitude.  While trying to play ping-pong at the awesome hotel, I found in impossible to hit the ball with the paddle.  Instead, I held the paddle in one hand and ineffectually swatted at the ball with my other hand.  I've blocked out the number of balls I sent flying into the fountain behind me.

Sometimes I still die laughing thinking about some of the things that happened on that trip.  I am so thankful for my family and all of the experiences that we have shared.  They are truly the origin of my sense of humor!