Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

I am super competitive.  This is the reason I did fairly well competing in debate in high school although I really hate confrontation;  I hate to be wrong and I hate to lose, so I go into attack mode when someone talks for 7 minutes about all of the ways I'm wrong.  I'm not proud of the side of me that comes out during competition, but it does push me to accomplish a lot.  

I am now in the midst of a competition.  My friend challenged me to a fitness competition for seven days leading up to a 5K we're both participating in this Saturday (btw, the 5K is at Skyline High School and all proceeds go to scholarships for first-generation college students.  If anyone in the area would like to participate, registration begins at 8am and the race begins at 9am on March 19th!).  Since she is as competitive as I am, there has been a little bit of trash talk going on.  It's all in good fun, of course, and we've called a truce, but it got me thinking about the art of trash talk.  

To clarify, I talk trash, not smack.  As The Office's Kelly Kapoor explained, "Trash talk is all hypothetical like 'Your Mama's so fat she could eat the internet' but smack talk is happening like right now, like you're ugly and I know it for a fact cause I got the evidence right there." My problem right now is that I'm trying to come up with some really clever trash talk sayings and I'm coming up blank!  I could really use your help, dear readers.  I hope that you all are as competitive as I am, because I will write an ode to whoever provides the best trash talk saying in the comments section below.  Let the games begin!  Please.