More Feathers, Please!

As you all know, I learn quite a bit from my nephew Jack.  Well, his most recent revelation is quite disconcerting because it contradicts what I have believed for my whole life--namely, that two substances can be used to fix anything: duct tape and WD40.  According to Jack this is not the case.  Sometimes you need feathers.

During a recent visit, Jack climbed in my lap and looked at me very seriously.  "Aunt Jamie," he said, "I'm broken."

"Oh no, gilla!" I exclaimed.  "Can I fix you?"

"Yes!  I need feathers on my back!"  That solution would never have occurred to me, but the boy said he needed feathers.  It turns out that to add feathers to a toddler's back, you simply tickle him and say "feathers, feathers, feathers" over and over again.  Jack was quite pleased; he declared himself fixed, then had me remove the feathers and the process started again.

This exchange got me to thinking--besides wondering where Jack gets his ideas and hoping his mother warns him not to fly too close to the sun, I wondered what the world would be like if other such unconventional fixes could be applied to sticky situations.  Here is what I came up with:

--When you spill something sticky, just sprinkle glitter on it.  Then it's not a mess, it's a work of art.

--When someone is rude, paint his face yellow.  It's a cheery color, so he will be more pleasant.

--If you food is over/undercooked, hop up and down three times, then spin around in circle for five minutes.  When you sit down, you'll be too dizzy to care about your food.

--If a movie/book/TV show ends badly, assume the part of the main character for a day.  You can act out the ending you want.  However, it's very important that you don't tell anyone what you are doing; it would make the whole thing seem artificial.

--For a burn, spit into one cup of grass clippings, then use the clippings to stuff a pillow.  Rest the burned area on the pillow, and it should heal within 24 hours.

These are just a few of my ideas.  What are some of your ideas for unconventional solutions?