When I Grow Up

I've been watching a cheesy teen show about elite gymnasts.  I love watching the Olympics and am absolutely amazed by the athletes who can do these amazing twists and flips and death-defying feats when I can barely do a push-up.  Watching this show makes part of me really wish that I had the ability to do gymnastics and part of me really glad I don't have to.  It got me thinking about all of the things that I thought I wanted to be when I grew up and where I would be if I had gotten my wish.

Archaeologist:  I'd probably be lying in the bottom of a hole somewhere because I got tangled in the stupid rope ladder while on a quest for Alexander the Great's tomb.

Koala Rescue Worker (it's a real thing, kinda!):  Obviously, I'd be Down Under rescuing baby koala's whose mothers were killed and teaching them wilderness survival techniques.  Unfortunately, koalas have crazy strong claws that can rip through skin and muscles like they're paper, so I'd probably end up bleeding out on the eucalyptus forest floor and being eaten by dingoes.  

Veterinarian:  I think I would be in an institution after my mental breakdown caused by the stress of telling small children that their puppies died.

Super Spy:  Oh dear, I'd be executed by some terrorist organization.  Either that or I would maim myself with my fancy weapons on my first mission and have to go into early retirement.

Teacher:  I might actually be doing okay as a teacher, but I probably would have gone loopy from exhaustion and started teaching the poor children "facts" that I hallucinated.  

Counselor:  It's probably best that someone in need of counseling receives help from someone a little less crazy than me.  Let's just leave it at that.

 Of course, now my dream is to design awesome greeting cards!  What do you all want to be when you grow up?